Valentine’s Day- A chance to celebrate the loves in your life, and for many of us, some unwanted reminders of previous loves we’ve had.
If you find yourself dwelling on a relationship that did not end… amicably… Here’s some suggestions on how you can still commemorate the day
Have Your Ex Devoured For Dinner
The Minnesota Zoo south of the Twin Cities is offering you the opportunity to have a bug names after your ex- that will then be fed to a number of the zoo’s animal population- Turns out the turtles, chameleons, tamarins, and opossums love the extra treats!
“Whether for a friend or foe, your bug will become part of a balanced diet for animals like golden lion tamarins, chameleons, opossums, turtles, and more,” zoo officials say.
It’s a $15 donation to name a bug on Valentine’s Day in someone’s honor… or dishonor…
Feed Their Heart To Zoo Animals
The WildCat Sanctuary in Scotts Mills, Oregon, is willing to feed your ex’s heart to one of their wildcats… For a $50 donation. Okay, so its a heart made out of meat and gelatin, but any name that you give them with the donation will be inscribed on the heart. They’ll even send you video proof of the heart being fed, so you can send it to all your friends… and frenemies.
Have Your Ex Spayed Or Neutered- Make Bob Barker Proud!
The perfect day home from school as a kid included watching The Price Is Right, where Bob Barker ended each show saying “help control the pet population- have your pets spayed or neutered!”. Hopefully you do that with your four-footed friends; but what about for your Ex?
The Heaven Can Wait Animal Haven in Muskegon, Michigan, will name a feral cat after your ex on valentines day for a $25 donation. It’s part of their “Trap-Neuter-Return” campaign where feral cats they receive are neutered and then returned to their local colonies.
Report Your Ex To The Cops
Okay… This might be going a bit far, but since it’s out there as an option, we’ll tell you about it. Police in Visalia, California, are suggesting that if your ex has outstanding warrants that you give them a call. They shared an image on their social media pages saying “Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Your Ex has felony Warrants? Call us, they’ll never know it was you!”
Not sure if law enforcement around the Red River Valley are going to be promoting that option, however.
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